Never knowing how to properly hold on until it was far too late.
He didn't know how he was supposed to be able to hold onto something precious when all he had ever done was break things. When his hands were made for killing, and not for wrapping around something or someone to hold onto. When holding on was as dangerous as the hope that promises he made were ones he could keep, when all he ever seemed good at doing was breaking them with a handful of lightning. Sometimes it was all he ever seemed to do: opening his hands and letting go.
Opening his hands and cutting through strings and turning his back and never looking back to the boy who needed him when he had no one else. The boy who now holds on tighter than he's ever held on before, and Kakashi thinks it's time. He's let go of Sasuke too many times. Thinks he can't, won't do it again when his letting go had led to Sasuke's footsteps in the rain that no amount of chasing could ever catch up to. Sasuke was always one step ahead and Kakashi was always too fucking late. Maybe this time, he's finally figured it out, how to make Sasuke stay, how to give Sasuke something to hold onto by learning how to hold on as well. Holding on, even if he knows how dangerous this is, with his mouth panting hungry and hot against Sasuke's when the boy drags his ass up the length of his thigh and Kakashi can feel the lovely softness of his balls and the hard bulge of his cock pressing, jumping against thin fabric as Sasuke ruts himself hungrily, grinds his hip against Kakashi's dick. The hard ridge of his hip gives just enough friction to make Kakashi that much harder, make his own hips move back in return in a sharp undulation.
He tries not think about how Sasuke knows how to do any of this. Tries not to consider that this is kiss is anything but inexperienced and uncertain, that Sasuke's movements speak volumes to where he's been all these years. Tries not to think about who else has been here, kissing Sasuke like this, doing this to him, and instead just focuses on the way Sasuke's hand sweeps up his back, as though he's counting every divot of spine in an attempt to understand Kakashi a little better. Maybe if he understands what's under his skin, he'll be able to figure him out. To know him the way no one else does. Why he hides under a mask instead of his own skin like everyone else.
His pulse jumps under the press of Sasuke's hand against his throat, and his tongue is as vicious as his teeth as they crush down on Sasuke's lower lip -- hard enough for it to hurt just right, but not deep enough to draw the taste of copper. Just enough to reassert his dominance, to remind Sasuke who's kissing him, as he sweeps his tongue back out to soothe the hurt and tightens his hand around Sasuke's throat once more. Just a little more pressure to make it harder to breathe. A little more pressure to make him choke as Kakashi's thigh presses hard against Sasuke's dick, encouraging him to ride his thigh a little harder. He doesn't want anyone touching Sasuke like this again. Doesn't want anyone to know how Sasuke's heart feels as it trembles under his hand, how Sasuke willingly offers up his life to Kakashi to crush or to hold. How Sasuke's breath sounds when it hitches in his throat. Sasuke's breath which might as well be Kakashi's now, because he'll claim it the way he's claiming Sasuke with his plundering mouth. Claiming Sasuke the only way he knows how.
With equal parts violence and love and need and hope.
Even now, Sasuke's still holding back parts of himself, still keeping his control carefully wound. Giving into this dance, into this kiss, pressing his throat into Kakashi's hand. But he hasn't given all of himself just yet. He's still holding onto the parts of him that he's afraid to show, swallowing it down the way he swallows down moans, but Kakashi wants more. Wants to hear him as much as he wants to taste him, see all the parts of him Sasuke's still holding back. Maybe he fucks him hard enough, Sasuke will forget himself and come undone, scream himself hoarse.
Maybe then he'll see him.
All of him.
He breaks the kiss with a ragged breath with every intention of teasing, with words on the tip of his tongue and a smirk that drags up the scarred corner of his mouth that are meant to get under Sasuke's skin just enough. Insist that, really, Sasuke, you need to stop holding back. ]
1/2
Never knowing how to properly hold on until it was far too late.
He didn't know how he was supposed to be able to hold onto something precious when all he had ever done was break things. When his hands were made for killing, and not for wrapping around something or someone to hold onto. When holding on was as dangerous as the hope that promises he made were ones he could keep, when all he ever seemed good at doing was breaking them with a handful of lightning. Sometimes it was all he ever seemed to do: opening his hands and letting go.
Opening his hands and cutting through strings and turning his back and never looking back to the boy who needed him when he had no one else. The boy who now holds on tighter than he's ever held on before, and Kakashi thinks it's time. He's let go of Sasuke too many times. Thinks he can't, won't do it again when his letting go had led to Sasuke's footsteps in the rain that no amount of chasing could ever catch up to. Sasuke was always one step ahead and Kakashi was always too fucking late. Maybe this time, he's finally figured it out, how to make Sasuke stay, how to give Sasuke something to hold onto by learning how to hold on as well. Holding on, even if he knows how dangerous this is, with his mouth panting hungry and hot against Sasuke's when the boy drags his ass up the length of his thigh and Kakashi can feel the lovely softness of his balls and the hard bulge of his cock pressing, jumping against thin fabric as Sasuke ruts himself hungrily, grinds his hip against Kakashi's dick. The hard ridge of his hip gives just enough friction to make Kakashi that much harder, make his own hips move back in return in a sharp undulation.
He tries not think about how Sasuke knows how to do any of this. Tries not to consider that this is kiss is anything but inexperienced and uncertain, that Sasuke's movements speak volumes to where he's been all these years. Tries not to think about who else has been here, kissing Sasuke like this, doing this to him, and instead just focuses on the way Sasuke's hand sweeps up his back, as though he's counting every divot of spine in an attempt to understand Kakashi a little better. Maybe if he understands what's under his skin, he'll be able to figure him out. To know him the way no one else does. Why he hides under a mask instead of his own skin like everyone else.
His pulse jumps under the press of Sasuke's hand against his throat, and his tongue is as vicious as his teeth as they crush down on Sasuke's lower lip -- hard enough for it to hurt just right, but not deep enough to draw the taste of copper. Just enough to reassert his dominance, to remind Sasuke who's kissing him, as he sweeps his tongue back out to soothe the hurt and tightens his hand around Sasuke's throat once more. Just a little more pressure to make it harder to breathe. A little more pressure to make him choke as Kakashi's thigh presses hard against Sasuke's dick, encouraging him to ride his thigh a little harder. He doesn't want anyone touching Sasuke like this again. Doesn't want anyone to know how Sasuke's heart feels as it trembles under his hand, how Sasuke willingly offers up his life to Kakashi to crush or to hold. How Sasuke's breath sounds when it hitches in his throat. Sasuke's breath which might as well be Kakashi's now, because he'll claim it the way he's claiming Sasuke with his plundering mouth. Claiming Sasuke the only way he knows how.
With equal parts violence and love and need and hope.
Even now, Sasuke's still holding back parts of himself, still keeping his control carefully wound. Giving into this dance, into this kiss, pressing his throat into Kakashi's hand. But he hasn't given all of himself just yet. He's still holding onto the parts of him that he's afraid to show, swallowing it down the way he swallows down moans, but Kakashi wants more. Wants to hear him as much as he wants to taste him, see all the parts of him Sasuke's still holding back. Maybe he fucks him hard enough, Sasuke will forget himself and come undone, scream himself hoarse.
Maybe then he'll see him.
All of him.
He breaks the kiss with a ragged breath with every intention of teasing, with words on the tip of his tongue and a smirk that drags up the scarred corner of his mouth that are meant to get under Sasuke's skin just enough. Insist that, really, Sasuke, you need to stop holding back. ]