fantheflame | IC Contact / Appointments: Luceti

[His poor confused, foolish little brother.]

You're just going to have to speak to her. Resolve this matter between you and figure out where everyone stands.

[He reaches over to give the boy's shoulder a light squeeze, trying to be supportive.]

Have you eaten?

I'm not hungry.

[It's partially true and partially bullshit: he hasn't eaten since breakfast, but he also feels too goddamn queasy to want to think about food.]

...It's gonna stand with everyone at school thinking I'm a shitty human being. [And they're right.]

[He drops his head enough to run the fingers of both hands back into his hair, elbows on his knees.]

Fuck, I'm an idiot.

Everyone makes mistakes. You'll just have to own up to these.

[Sasuke's just a teenager, after all. He knows he can pull through this - and hopefully be in a better position once he comes out of it.]

Well, it's about time for supper anyway, so I'm going to fix something. If you change your mind, it will be waiting for you.

[Itachi smiles and pats his brother's knee before getting to his feet. He can feel a light chuckle forming in his throat, but holds it in because he knows the boy won't appreciate it.

Unfortunately, holding that back causes something else to force its way to the surface and he pales, fingers gripping the arm of the sofa as he tries to keep from coughing in front of Sasuke.]

[Sasuke doesn't see the smile, too busy wallowing in his own self-pity and self-hatred and self-accusation, all teenager-shallow but swirling hot in his chest all the same. His voice is tight when he speaks.]

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. When you and Law -

[But then he looks up and catches sight of Itachi's face, and his heart almost stops.]

...Itachi?

[Itachi clears his throat, but his voice is still a little rough when he answers.]

Mm? I'm fine.

And I know what you're going to apologize for, but you don't... you don't need to worry about that right now.

[He clears his throat again, but it's not helping. His next attempt comes out as a cough, and he begins moving toward the kitchen with a futile hope that he might be able to avoid being confronted about the issue.]

[No no no no no.]

[Whether he's gay and whether or not Itachi's angry with him for being a hypocrite (though it seems like he's not and that's confusing as much as comforting) and whether he'll be welcome at school tomorrow - they all take a firm back seat to this. Sasuke's on his feet in an instant, reaching out to catch his brother by the elbow.]

Itachi...

[Don't be sick. Don't be sick. Please don't be sick.]

[Itachi doesn't pull away, and unfortunately all the wishing in the world won't bring the man back to perfect health.

He doesn't say anything, and he manages to hold back further coughs, but his pallor and the nature of his breathing should make it obvious that something is off. He feels like he should be able to hide it better, but right now he's failing at that.

Sorry, little brother. He doesn't want this either.]

[Fear and guilt and panic and denial all crash together in a train wreck inside Sasuke's chest. That this is somehow his fault, or he could have prevented it; that this will mean fewer hours Itachi can work (and then how will they afford his medicine?); that this will affect his school and his chance at a scholarship if he has to take more hours (and then how fucking selfish he feels (even if he wants the scholarship more because the promise of money means safety for Itachi than because he cares about sports)) - ]

Fuck - Itachi, breathe. Don't - don't hurt yourself...

[The tears haven't welled yet, but oh, they're threatening. Itachi is sick. A tightness wells in Sasuke's throat and chest until he wants to throw up, but doesn't.]

Just breathe...

It's fine... [It isn't.]

[He clears his throat again, swallowing, doing nothing much else aside from breathing as instructed. Sasuke is already panicking. He didn't want that, but it's inevitable, isn't it?]

It's not as bad as it was.

[This is very little comfort at all, and he knows it. It just means it hasn't progressed that far yet.]

[At least Itachi can clear his throat without starting up another coughing fit... that's something. It's not much and really it only means this is just starting, but it's something.]

...What if you get worse?

[Sasuke's voice is quiet. What if Itachi gets as bad as the last time? ...What if he gets worse still?]

[The very idea of losing Itachi like this makes Sasuke's heart and stomach clench. He's been aware of it as a possibility for years now... but he doesn't think he'll ever be ready for it. Doesn't ever want to be.]

Then we'll find a way to deal with that if and when it happens.

[He includes the "if" only to keep it from sounding as dire, even though there really is no if about it. It will get worse, because that's just the way this disease progresses.]

I'll work on acquiring some medicine. I'm not having any trouble at the factory yet. Don't let it upset you.

[The last is a futile plea, he knows.]

Itachi... I can't just not worry about you.

[He hears the strain in his own voice, but it's so difficult to keep that at bay.]

That'll never happen. You're my big brother. [He swallows.] I've... got a little extra money from the shop. [He's not going to tell Itachi it was a small birthday gift from the shop owner.] I don't think it'll cover your medicine but it should help.

Sasuke. Let me be concerned with that. Please.

[Any extra money he has now has to have been saved up for something. He hates the idea of it being used for him instead.

He breathes slowly, settling himself further so that he appears less pathetic. That isn't helping his case.]

[It's a good thing Itachi can't see him, because Sasuke visibly deflates. His brother's always like this. And Sasuke wants to argue, but right now he feels like that might make things worse. Might make Itachi strain his already overtaxed respiratory system. So he doesn't push.]

...I've got it if you need it, then, okay?

[His voice is small. After a beat, he opts to change the subject, much as it's something he rarely likes to do.]

I'm still sorry though. About you and Law? Whether you want me to apologize for that or not... I want to. I was an ass to you both.

It's alright.

[Sasuke had been confused. He understood this. It's hard to hold anything against his brother in the first place. Law wasn't likely to hold a grudge over it either.

He smiles a little.]

You don't need to worry about that. Don't let it bother you.

[He has other issues to worry about now, and Itachi wishes so strongly that he didn't have to be one of them.]

[Sasuke sighs. It's strange - he can hear that Itachi doesn't need an apology, doesn't see it as something he needs to forgive Sasuke for. But Sasuke feels like it is. Even hearing Itachi say it's alright - Sasuke feels like it's a bigger deal than that. But he can't find words for that to say out loud, not ones that don't sound stupid.]

...Thanks.

[He opts for quiet gratitude instead.]

Do you need help with dinner?

[And small attempts to move on.]

[Itachi wants to be stubborn and tell his brother that no, he doesn't need the help, but letting the teen tag along to help him cook might at least make him feel as though he can do something. He knows how futile this situation can feel.

So he nods, even though he could still accomplish it on his own.]

I would appreciate it.

[It's childish, and Sasuke knows it even as it happens, but some edge of him perks up a little when Itachi says yes, he can help. It's subtle, in that way that so many of Sasuke's natural inclinations are subtle (between the ones that are loud and pronounced), but there's a half-step of extra speed in his movements as he comes up to Itachi's side again, bumps a gentle elbow against his brother's.]

[He's still not hungry - too queasy with the night's events, as his stomach reminds him - but he can help. He can try to make up for some little bit of his stupidity.]

[It's a comfort, that small bit of enthusiasm. For as much as he'd like to insist that he can do this alone, knowing that his brother can still offer that and not fall straight into a funk at this turn of events is good.

It warms his heart a little. Reminds him that they really do need to take care of each other.]

There should be a new block of tofu. Go ahead and get that out for me.

IC Contact / Appointments: Luceti

[Luceti Valley, Day 3/August 4, Itachi]

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