☽ うちはサスケ Uchiha Sasuke ☾ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fantheflame) wrote2013-07-16 08:35 pm
fantheflame) wrote2013-07-16 08:35 pm
Entry tags:
1st fan
[Action: Awakening ((Closed))]
[Sasuke is not enjoying getting used to being unsure of things. But he is - unsure - and finds that while the things he is unsure of are troubling, the state of unsurety isn't as terrifying as it used to be.]
[Right now, there are two very important things he's unsure of: whether he's alive or dead, and, if the second, whether this is heaven or hell.]
[The last thing he remembers? His deranged excuse for a... cousin of sorts? Taking on the ten-tails as its container. And now he's here - wherever here is - standing in a stranger's bedroom, holding a photograph of his brother with (presumably) that stranger. He awoke nearly naked with a pair of wings sprouted from his own back, and now he's somewhere with evidence of one of the dead. What else could have happened?]
We lost, huh...?
[Something like guilt makes a feeble case for life in his chest, but it's hard to feel guilty when you don't remember an ending. Instead he's just... staring at this photograph. One thumb swipes idly across the cool glass, over Itachi's face, half-expecting it to vanish once obstructed. It doesn't.]
[He's not sure whether to feel a sense of final relief - he's here, and, it seems, so is Itachi - or sick doom - who the hell is this complete stranger who's gotten to share in his brother's... something. Not life, maybe, but...]
[The Itachi in the picture is almost smiling, and his eyes look more alive than Sasuke remembers since they were very small.]
[Action: Examination ((Sometime Later; Open))]
[Sasuke is - a little bit of everywhere. He doesn't exactly believe... most of this. Half thinks this is some sadistic side-plot in Obito's (Madara's?) ridiculous Moon's Eye genjutsu (keeps having to remind himself he wouldn't know that exists if that were the case). So he's exploring - barracks, apartments, the shrine, the forest - here one moment, maybe lingering to examine (Sharingan blazing red the entire time) - and then gone in a flicker, off to the next place. He's not taking particular care to remain hidden (really, he doesn't care who sees him in what may be a fake or an illusion or a dream), but he's not being loud about his presence either.]
[Follow-Up Action: Drained ((Closed to Sakura))]
[One thing Sasuke should maybe have done was paid attention to the tidbits he's heard about halved powers, weakened chakra, difficulty... being, as a shinobi.]
[Because now, feeling more physically real than he has the entire time he's been here - how could he be this bone-tired in a dream? - he's slumped on hands and knees on the riverbank just to the north of town, eyes fading back and forth between blazing red and dim grey-black, breath harsh in and out of his lungs. How did he run so quickly out of chakra? How did Sharingan run him so quickly out of chakra?]
[His eyes fade back to dull black and stay there at last, and he lifts a hand to brush sweaty bangs out of his eyes, feeling at once overheated and clammy. Maybe he's had his question answered, finally, and this is hell.]
[Voice: Greeting ((Sometime Later; Open))]
--believe this thing - hm.
[It's a voice some will recognize.]
If paper can really record - whatever. I'm told I've been here before. I don't think I believe that. I certainly don't remember it.
Some of you know me. That's fine. Some of you would rather you didn't, and that's fine too.
I don't know what you know and I don't know what kind of bullshit this jutsu or hell or whatever it is is pulling, and I don't entirely care.
You should know I'm no longer an enemy of Konoha.
Believe me or don't, but I don't intend to fight you.
[There's a shift, and a few long seconds of tape-recorder not-quite-silence, followed by a muffled shuffle of movement over paper before the recording ends.]
[Sasuke is not enjoying getting used to being unsure of things. But he is - unsure - and finds that while the things he is unsure of are troubling, the state of unsurety isn't as terrifying as it used to be.]
[Right now, there are two very important things he's unsure of: whether he's alive or dead, and, if the second, whether this is heaven or hell.]
[The last thing he remembers? His deranged excuse for a... cousin of sorts? Taking on the ten-tails as its container. And now he's here - wherever here is - standing in a stranger's bedroom, holding a photograph of his brother with (presumably) that stranger. He awoke nearly naked with a pair of wings sprouted from his own back, and now he's somewhere with evidence of one of the dead. What else could have happened?]
We lost, huh...?
[Something like guilt makes a feeble case for life in his chest, but it's hard to feel guilty when you don't remember an ending. Instead he's just... staring at this photograph. One thumb swipes idly across the cool glass, over Itachi's face, half-expecting it to vanish once obstructed. It doesn't.]
[He's not sure whether to feel a sense of final relief - he's here, and, it seems, so is Itachi - or sick doom - who the hell is this complete stranger who's gotten to share in his brother's... something. Not life, maybe, but...]
[The Itachi in the picture is almost smiling, and his eyes look more alive than Sasuke remembers since they were very small.]
[Action: Examination ((Sometime Later; Open))]
[Sasuke is - a little bit of everywhere. He doesn't exactly believe... most of this. Half thinks this is some sadistic side-plot in Obito's (Madara's?) ridiculous Moon's Eye genjutsu (keeps having to remind himself he wouldn't know that exists if that were the case). So he's exploring - barracks, apartments, the shrine, the forest - here one moment, maybe lingering to examine (Sharingan blazing red the entire time) - and then gone in a flicker, off to the next place. He's not taking particular care to remain hidden (really, he doesn't care who sees him in what may be a fake or an illusion or a dream), but he's not being loud about his presence either.]
[Follow-Up Action: Drained ((Closed to Sakura))]
[One thing Sasuke should maybe have done was paid attention to the tidbits he's heard about halved powers, weakened chakra, difficulty... being, as a shinobi.]
[Because now, feeling more physically real than he has the entire time he's been here - how could he be this bone-tired in a dream? - he's slumped on hands and knees on the riverbank just to the north of town, eyes fading back and forth between blazing red and dim grey-black, breath harsh in and out of his lungs. How did he run so quickly out of chakra? How did Sharingan run him so quickly out of chakra?]
[His eyes fade back to dull black and stay there at last, and he lifts a hand to brush sweaty bangs out of his eyes, feeling at once overheated and clammy. Maybe he's had his question answered, finally, and this is hell.]
[Voice: Greeting ((Sometime Later; Open))]
--believe this thing - hm.
[It's a voice some will recognize.]
If paper can really record - whatever. I'm told I've been here before. I don't think I believe that. I certainly don't remember it.
Some of you know me. That's fine. Some of you would rather you didn't, and that's fine too.
I don't know what you know and I don't know what kind of bullshit this jutsu or hell or whatever it is is pulling, and I don't entirely care.
You should know I'm no longer an enemy of Konoha.
Believe me or don't, but I don't intend to fight you.
[There's a shift, and a few long seconds of tape-recorder not-quite-silence, followed by a muffled shuffle of movement over paper before the recording ends.]
voice;
Hai, hai, I know you can fight your own battles, Sasuke. But this is different.
[voice forever]
This is about my choices, and my path, and my -
[Clan. But that isn't a conversation for some magical fucking diary that anyone apparently can see into.]
Just - butt out.
voice;
[ And that's final. ]
Sasuke, you're my student.
[ Which means, you're his responsibility, and he has a duty to you. ]
no subject
no subject
Kakashi smiles because smiling is what he does. It reflects in his tone. ]
Ah. That's where you're wrong, Sasuke.
[ He says far too lightly. ]
You'll always be my student.
[
because what is culture even]no subject
[Sasuke makes what is probably the most predictable face in response to that chipper smile - scowl, scoff, just a little bit of recoil. If he could see himself, he'd be glad the other man can't. Because no, he's still never learned how to handle this kind of response. Still doesn't really want to.]
Whatever.
I still don't need you meddling.
no subject
[ And Kakashi's tone really offers no room for argument. Even if Sasuke wants to argue with him on this, he's not backing down. ]
no subject
[It's said with the harsh, sharp, fire-hot conviction of an angry, angry teenager. With more fury than that, really, if maybe not every iota of the real belief. If anything - even if not consciously - he says it so that it might be made more true with the telling. If he keeps saying it, that will make it the truth. He hasn't really grown out of that yet.]
I don't care what anyone thinks, so you don't need to be insinuating your opinions into other people's conversation.
no subject
Mm, well, maybe Shikamaru shouldn't have insisted on speaking on behalf of Konoha. But as it is, he's not qualified to do so, and it is entirely inappropriate for him to even attempt to, as he is not the Hokage.
[ So either way, Kakashi would've insinuated his opinion into this conversation. ]
Anyway, even if Shikamaru hadn't spoken for Konoha, I probably would've insinuated my opinion into this conversation regardless. Maybe you don't care what people think or say or how they treat you, but I do. You are part of Team 7. You always will be. And as your sensei, it is my duty to support you, even if you don't want it.
no subject
[I'm ex-Team 7.]
[But he can't say that anymore, and as much as he wishes he had it as a rebuttal, as far as saying the words themselves - he really finds he doesn't want to.]
[He realizes only a moment later he'd already hit the record button with the words on his lips, and this comment, like an open comm link on a short-range radio, must be stretching out in staticy silence. He fumbles for words for another moment, then just shakes his head and presses stop.]
filtered 100%
Kakashi understands.
He isn't going to push him or chase after him when Sasuke's not ready to talk, or when he needs space to process his emotions and thoughts without someone trying to stuff words in his ears he's not ready to hear when he's already overwhelmed.
But there is just one more thing Kakashi has to say. ]
I just want you to know... my door's still open, Sasuke. I'll be moving into Community Housing 1 in a few days. You can find me there.
[ If you want. ]
no subject
[It's a few long, long seconds before he even hits reply, and he only does that to be certain that the bright red filter box surrounding Kakashi's response continues down around his.]
[And then, he spends several minutes just staring at the form.]
[He wishes Kakashi hadn't brought that up. He wishes he could forget - everyone could forget - moments of weakness he had in the past, when he was less than perfect. When he needed help... especially help that wasn't the expected, wasn't the raw physical teamwork that comes with a shinobi squad.]
[Wishes he could forget forever how much everything hurt then. He thinks sometimes that those moments back then - dark and cold and painfully lonely - were worse than even the hours after Tobi told him the truth.]
[He wishes he could convince himself that being alone was never the worst. He couldn't then.]
I'm not twelve anymore.
[His reply is quiet when it comes. No. He isn't twelve. And a few weeks alone with sensei learning a new jutsu isn't going to fix what's wrong with him. Neither is going over for tea.]
no subject
And Kakashi knows. How alone alone can be, even if in this world Sasuke might not have to be. After all, Itachi is here, and so is the rest of Team 7. But even still, he wanted Sasuke to know that he never would turn his back on him. That he still has his door open.
Kakashi hits reply faster than he meant, and for a moment, there's just a quiet pause, before he says softly: ]
I know.
[ But I'm still here, he doesn't say. He doesn't have to. ]